Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Far

Why is it so easy to get far from one's self? The time passes so quickly and you find yourself doing the things you have to do and then the remaining time is at a premium. So little is left to do what you want to do and really unless you REALLY want to do something and schedule to do it ahead of time, let's face it...you probably aren't going to do it.

Life isn't supposed to just happen. It's meant to be lived, loved and enjoyed. There are all kinds of moments and lately the ones that seem to make you grow the most are stacking up against me. I find myself struggling with things I didn't deem hard in the past. I find myself going through the motions but not really gaining any ground. Disconnected.

In the mix of it all I got lost. It's like I was on auto pilot...doing the things that I had to do but not really taking time to think. I feel like I haven't taken time to stop, look around and think ahead. Planning and preparation were born out of necessity and exhausted on simple tasks related to daily needs.

I don't need to be Super Mom. I don't want to be Utah Mom. I just want to be able to love, care, nurture and protect my children. I want to be an example and teach them about the things that matter most. Some how I have to fit a full time job in there along with a titch of sleep and maybe even soms down time. I have no idea how people do this but I am hell bent determined to figure it out...just not tonight.

On the B Side: The journey of one thousand steps starts with the first step. That first step is now behind me along with a couple of others. Slow and steady will be my pace and I promise that I will quit complaining...that's the next step!

6 shout outs:

Ivanhoe said...

One day at the time, honey. Don't make it difficult on yourself.

Amanda said...

It is all about making the time. I totally understand about trying to find yourself & the things you have let slip. Why else would I be taking a frekin' ballroom dance class. I'm loving it, some me time & something that I used to love to do. Hang it there. Love you!

Kristin said...

I love you! :)

And I haven't heard any complaining.

lizzo said...

You're not complaining; you're sharing your thoughts. And as long as you do that I'd love to read about your journey.

You'll get there. I know you will.

Rebecca said...

we'll walk the steps together my sista. BTW I love your new blog...and you :)

Clancy Pants said...

(chanting) BRITTA! BRITTA! BRITTA! BRITTA!

I'm your number one fan. Everything is as it should be. Breathe. Deeply. Love THIS moment, Britta. Love this process. Love yourself.

Rent Peaceful Warrior. Awesome movie.