In the Quiet Heart is Hidden Sorrows that the Eye Can't See

I received this image in an email today with a message stating that not all the brave leave 'the home of the brave' to enter battle. Some of the brave are required to be brave at home.

As I looked at this picture and felt the emotion therein my heart broke. Does it really have to be this way?

Sometimes in life it's so easy to get caught up in ourselves . We stress about things that really don't matter and worry about things we cannot control. There are a million and one things that distract us from the things that matter most. We forget about the world around us and lose sight of others. I admit that I fall into this category more often than I would like to think.

This image of a young boy dressed in black holding back tears and trying to be brave was a powerful reminder of the war that wages and the individual lives that are affected. As the flag is being handed to him he knows his Father will not be coming home. A young child forced to be brave in spite of a life time of being without one he loves most; one who gave his life for all of us. I cannot begin to imagine what this little boys brave heart must feel each day nor how it will affect the rest of his life.

Along those lines I thought a lot about the other side of this war. There are soldiers to fight against our country men. Whatever their cause they also have families and lives outside of war. There exists hopes, dreams, sorrows and pain. I thought of what they must experience and the pain their families suffer. I do not claim to understand what it must be like but my heart does ache for them as well.

On the B Side: I am thankful for the many men and women who sacrifice themselves whether they live or die for the sake of the good of our country. Our freedoms and liberties come with a price. I am hard pressed to think I could make such a sacrifice with the odds that they face but I understand the greater good and I sincerely love, admire and respect them for the selfless service that they offer. It is my sincere hope that they are carefully watched over and blessed while they are far from their dear families and pray that they may arrive home safely once more. Now look at this picture again for a few brief moments and you tell me. xxox

15 Weeks!

Yes 4 months along and only 175 days to go! The Doc gave both the baby and I a clean bill of health this week. Baby's heart beat is a healthy 160 beats per minute and in 3 weeks we find out the gender! I think it's a boy but I've been wrong twice before ;)

I am now able to feel the baby's movements but the rest of my family will need to wait another 5 weeks until they are able to share in this small joy! The kids and Mark are anxious and always want to touch my belly.

Next year at this time baby will be almost 7 months old!

On the B Side: I am grateful that my family is so supportive and so excited about our new addition!

Button Up!

While the kids were playing Shark Boy and Lava Girl go to Disneyland Kayla told Ellie, "I got a button to close your mouth!"
On the B Side: I love having our little family all home together! The silly moments keep the rest of reality in perspective!

Betty Davis Eyes

Ellie had her first eye exam with an Optometrist this week (thanks for the referral ShayE!). She was so big and brave and so excited about her new pink glasses that she picked out all by herself! Unfortunately she has hyperopia because her eyes are small and compact. Doc suspects she will grow out of it but the glasses she will sport now will help her eyes to relax and minimize the risk for a lazy eye (or two!) later.

Of course the Doc commented on how tiny she is (yes we know) and also how very smart she is (and thank you!). She knew all of her letters and smiled through wearing the 'pirate eye patch' and the crazy 'glasses' that he looked through to see in her eyes. She folded her hands with her fingers laced and sat so quietly. We fit her little face for two pairs of glasses (we needed something for when she isn't wearing pink!).

I got busted out by Dayton when I picked her up from school. Before I even knew that I had been spotted he was behind me with his coat on and his backpack in tow. They were both tired and hungry so we packed up and made a small family trip out of it!

On the B Side: I am grateful for people who dedicate themselves to learning and training to care for others. The doctor today was so nice and super knowledgeable.

The Empty Chair

Tonight after the children got home for quiet time before bed we watched bits and pieces of Gordon B. Hinckley's funeral. Ellie in particular was very attentive as the Prophet's grandsons unloaded the casket from the hearse. Upon explaining that his body was in the casket Ellie exclaimed, "Mom we didn't even get to go say hi" and Dayton wanted to know when they were going to open "the box". We had previously planned on attending the viewing on Thursday but had our plans thwarted.

We watched as they put the flower arrangements on the coffin and rolled it carefully passed all of the Apostles and into the Conference Center. Ellie then asked, 'Who are all of those old mans?" I explained that they were the Apostles and a little bit about their role and then she asked, "Are they grandpas?" She was very interested to watch them all take their seats and was also very concerned about the empty chair where the Prophet once sat.

Dayton was busy playing Tic Tac Toe on my laptop and took full advantage of Ellie's turns while she was engaged in the funeral proceedings (which guaranteed him some sure wins). While I was fast forwarding through the talking parts and explaining that the Prophets daughter was speaking he stopped playing and asked, "Is she singing? She looks like she is singing." I laughed out loud knowing that the Tevo was responsible for this illusion; however, he was right!

Ellie began making up lyrics supposing what was being 'sang'. She quietly sang to herself after hearing Dayton's commentary. "I miss my Dad. I love him and he's dead". She did the same thing when Gordon's son spoke. Dayton joined in with his own lyrics in his sweet voice. It was a small and endearing tribute to the man we loved!

We watched the procession of cars head towards the cemetery. At this point both of the kids were carefully watching. At the end of the dedicatory prayer a man playing bagpipes walked through the cemetery and stood beside the casket. Dayton tenderly said, "Can we say good bye now, Mom? Good bye Gordon B. Hinckley. Goodbye" to which Ellie sweetly responded, "Good bye Gordon B. Hinckley" and her voice trailed off as they both watched in quiet awe.

On the B Side: I am grateful for these teaching moments that touch their hearts (and mine)! The understanding that is gained is a light and love that comes from being touched by the Spirit deep within your heart. It is gaining a greater comprehension of who we really are, where we came from and where we are going.