The After Thought

Alexander isn't the only one who has ever had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I've never actually read the book so I can't be sure how it ends but I'm hoping mine turns around! I could make a list but that just seems inappropriate and a misuse of energy. I will reluctantly put my shoulder to the wheel or at least repeat some gay phrase like that to myself until I believe it.

On the B Side: While it may only be 12 degrees out, I am warm and cozy at home in my jammies with my moonbeams. Life really is good even when it feels terrible, horrible, no good and very bad. Carry on.

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

Why, no Heather. No, I did not. I do not eat brain tumors but I would like to obliterate one. However, I was a 'Heathers' fan in 1988 and that simply must count for something. That was before Winona Ryder was a theif and before Christian Slater got old. All of that being said, Shannen Doherty was never cool and with 2010 drawing close, she just needs to go away for good but I digress.

2 unsuccessful brain surgeries in 2001 left me a big frustrated. Tumor 2. Britta 0. Dayton was born in July 2002 so I pretty much put my tumor drama on the back burner. Turns out that was a really bad idea. Tumor 3. Britta 0. Wow. Way to rally.

It's time to deal with it again but I am just not ready to go down that path. Some times ready or not it's just important to do the right thing. So I've started the process again and remain mostly apathetic albeit annoyed when I think about it too much. I've been through all the standard garb to this point and will start my tumor town meds 12/15.

On the B Side: Cheers to doing what is right! Not doing so has put me back in the saddle and this ain't my first time at this rodeo! The lesson here folks is as Grandpa Sunshine always said, if you are going to do something, do it right the first time...now if only my surgeon had prescribed to such rhetoric. As for me, me and that MRI machine are BFF's again.

Me and Gloria

Dear Ms Gaynor, We will survive! There is a game that I can't stand. So much can I not stand it that I made it a quiet goal to beat the he** out of it...and I did but it wasn't easy and I hated it the whole time. What I hated most about this game was that I just plain sucked at it. Check out my arch nemesis / new bff to the left!

Mark on the other hand, could pick it up and whiz through it like nobodies business. He has a mind for numbers and puzzles and loves to problem solve. Me, not so much. Personally if I had a motto it would be something like, 'Just Fix It'. Not, fix it and show me how but just do it and don't hurt my head with the details.

There is a rising up within me though and I'm tired of just rolling over, putting my head in the sand and doing the Duffy. Hence began my 3 day quest to kick the crap out of it...and I did AND I proudly am the reigning champ at a whooping 37 seconds. I earned it and it feels good. Yes, it's the small victories that count! I am certain the I killed many brain cells during that process.

Something else I suck at...planks! Um yeah. If I had any muscle mass at all it might not be something I hate with all of my heart. Just as with my 15 Puzzle mad blitz, I am determined to become the master of the plank. Check out the image to the right and imagine doing that with zero muscle and a whole bunch of chub. Awesome! It's going to take far more time then my 3 obsessive days of madness that accompanied my last small victory but at some point with a while lot of effort, there will be no sad look upon my face and I will survive!

On the B Side: It feels amazing to make choices, take control and make a difference! I working out and oddly enough my least favorite part is the cardio crap. I'm learning all kinds of new things and love the sore muscles that remind me that I started the process and am making progress. Forward motion, people, forward motion!

Dear Danny

Danny is my new and super fantastic personal trainer. I wish I could afford to keep him forever. Here are the best things about him;

-He doesn't make me feel bad when I squeal (because my weak muscles hurt so good)
-He doesn't laugh when I tell him I'm sure I'm going to pee my pants (I'm certain I will be his first client to have this kind of accident)
-He doesn't mock me when my craptastic sense of balance gets the best of me (who falls that frequently? I mean really.)
-He kindly corrects me when I forget which leg I just did during lunges (multi tasking has never been my thing, people)
-He politely answers all of my uber naive inquiries (what is a lat any way and how is it related to a trap and are you really sure that I have both of those?)
-He graciously tolerates my random jibberish and frankly, I think he enjoys it

Here are the best things about joining the gym again;
-I love taking control of my life again and working hard to make a difference
-I love the daily soreness my muscles feel (it means they really do exist)
-I love getting up early and feeling productive
-I love being able to get out of the house
-The 'me time' is quietly splendid (is that selfish?)
-It really does provide me an outlet to de-stress, relax and feel good
-It makes me less tired (so weird since I am getting up at the butt crack of dawn but nonetheless true)
-While it will take me 3-4 months to see results, I AM SO EXCITED!

On the B Side: Thank you Farkus for being supportive and helping me to be able to get out and do this. It really is important to me and it feels so good!