Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Swift Kick to the Kimmy

So close yet so far away. Keep in mind that while I am a girl, I do not typically break down and I do not cry regularly. All things said, I have been holding up and managing quite nicely despite the recent challenges. Touche!

Yesterday was a huge milestone for me. Mark and I have been separated for over a month now. 6/29 marked the last day at the office for me for the luxurious space of 2 weeks. Originally we had planned to be in PA...home sweet home. Given the changes in our lives it worked out that I will be cleaning, packing, moving, unpacking and settling during this time frame. Normally I would beg and plead for a trip home and look back longingly feeling bad that I couldn't be there but this time around the move actually represents living again...having a life, providing security and being with my children once more. So there is no way to feel bad about it...or is there?

OH MY HELL. 6/28 came and I was able to get back into our home grace a les tenants. They had vacated the property and I braced myself. Kougy and her Jason graciously provided me with a fridge...at the drop of a hat and even delivered the sucker. I am one lucky girl. I know this and I love them. I quickly went through the house...wondered why the windows were open but whatever. I.DID.NOT.CRY.(except for maybe when Koug in her mountain mama shirt hugged me on the front lawn but thankfully she wasn't driving the Subaru this day so the neighbors suspect nothing!!!)

Enter 6/29. I picked up the kids so they could go see the house. Mark had stopped by and closed all the windows the night before...we opened the door from the garage AND I THREW UP A LOT IN MY MOUTH. Okay, not really but if my lungs weren't burning from the PEE FEST I may have puked. It was liked someone gave me a swift kick in the kimmy and wrung all of the air out of my lungs. The smell was overwhelming. Disgusting. Fowl. Wrong. I tried, I really did. I tried not to cry. The kids were there and they were excited and I didn't want to ruin it. I quickly walked them to their rooms so they could see and possibly remember and then I quickly herded them out. Tear threat level was red hot at this point.

I got my small tribe back into the car, buckled them all in, put my sunglasses on to hide the nuclear meltdown that was about to occur and turned on the music in a last ditch effort to conceal my mounting emotional outpour.

The urine is gross. The fact that our tenants lived in it for two years is grosser than gross. The fact that it...THEY stole and delayed my life, squashed my security and infuriated mewas more than I could handle. I have been living in transition for too many weeks. I will spare the details, not because my glass is half full or because my glasses are rosey but for the sake of complaining just a little bit less.

Enter BaFarky
. Yes, Marky Mark saved the whole day and I didn't have to ask. Larger then life. It didn't matter that we are separated or that we struggle. What mattered to him during those moments is that I was a pile of tears and without any forethought he raced to our rescue. He immediately put a plan together...which is far more than I was capable of at that point. He spent many late hours tearing the urine infested carpet and padding out of a home that he is not moving into with us. He made the arrangements to have new carpet immediately installed and worked out a way to pay for it. My head is still spinning by the outpouring of his selfless effort.

I dropped off dinner to him and cried as I drove back to my Mom's. I was touched. humbled. grateful. In the most unlikely of circumstances he did the most unlikely series of acts of kindness. Regardless of what is or isn't, I know that I was blessed and it was Mark who quietly and without any agenda carried me through this evening...and likely without knowing it.

On the b Side: This is the Reader's Digest version but you get the jist. I woke up today excited and refreshed. I feel the love and support of so many people and some who are of the most unlikely. As I type and sift through the random stream of thoughts in my mind now, I can feel the tears race down my cheeks as my heart overflows. I am beyond lucky and if feeling this way means taking a swift one every so often then bring it on. Yes, apparently I really do cry a lot and today it feels fabulous. Now please excuse me while I go enjoy Day 1 of my vay-cay and cut some more fresh strawberries!

p.s. It is note worthy that while your tenants may make timely payments does NOT mean that their damn yappy dog is not destroying your home.