Monday, June 2, 2008

Manic Monday: Over

I am joining the manic monday posts in my own little quiet way. Over.

Over feels so indefinite to me. It seems like the word over should be much more absolute but in my world it's so grey, so not concrete, so infinite and so not over. I feel like it should suggest finality but in my mind there are very few things in this life that are final. Most things don't ever really end. Are things ever really over?

Over feels a lot like numbers to me. Dayton has been on a kick lately trying to grasp, understand and explain in his own terms the fact that numbers never end. Numbers are never over. There is no end even though there is a beginning. How could there really be no end? Yes, numbers go on forever. There is no end. There is no over.

I think about my parents divorce. It took 8+ years to resolve and still lingered given financial complications but even when they were resolved it wasn't over. It's never really been over. It's there. We all know it and it's affects are far reaching. The circumstances seemed to end but it is more of a ripple effect and it's been many years so it doesn't feel over in a definitive way.

I think about my health and it's much the same. The problems don't really go away and even when they seem to they are never really gone and there's never a guarante that it's over. It's never really over. Sometimes the issues evolve making them seem even less over.

Take a look at house work. It's never really done. It's never really over. You can do your laundry but it's not over and will creep back up before you know it. Same goes for cleaning. It's an eternal round! There's nothing over about it.

The examples are not all negative and go on forever (without ever being complete, comprehensive or over). Even in death, we know that life is not over. Honestly, I can't come up with anything off the top of my head that is ever really over. The sphere of influence is too great for anything to really reach that point of finality.

On the B Side: I realize that this is my subjective experience. It is hopeful and some times discouraging to me that things do not really end, that things are never really over. Right, wrong, indifferent, good or bad. There are always rippling effects that perpetuate the-not-over-ness of life; one eternal round that influences and perpetuates.