Monday, June 9, 2008

Game Over

***Please insert twenty-five cents to play again***

Or not. Seriously?????
Today was one of those days that only happen to other people. It started fairly normally. We went through all of our daily routines. All was well, the sun was out and the kids were smiling. I had no idea I was going to be up against one serious round of Grand Theft Auto! This day truly felt eternal in nature. Here is the reader's digest version...

While at the office I received a call about a vehicle we have for sale. Being only minutes away (and suffering through crazy contractions) I agreed to come home so the potential buyer could test drive it. She and her young friend patiently waited for me to arrive, were very inquisitive and friendly. They handed me their keys as collateral and returned within minutes and made an offer.

Mark was in a Managers Meeting all day so I told them I would call them back this evening after speaking with him about their offer. They left and within less than 2 minutes the doorbell rang. DING effin' DONG. I thought they had perhaps returned as surely they didn't have time to leave. Nope.

A lady out of no where appeared and asked to drive the car. Not only am I a moron but I am a naive moron. She gave me some strange song and dance, offered up way too many confused comments and handed over a title for collateral. I asked her many questions and told her the car was for sale when she insisted she had errands to run and would be back by 6. It was 10:30 in the morning. Hello McFly????

Again, I told her that the car was for sale. She asked zero questions and flashed her CA driver's license. She apparently had arrived on foot and stated she lived nearby when I inquired. She had the audacity to tell me that I looked trust worthy!!! I hesitantly gave her the key for a test drive when she said she would be back immediately. I watched her walk to the car, proceed to use my anti-bacterial wipes to clean the steering wheel and console. THE NERVE.

I knew immediately I was an idiot. I called the SJ Police. They immediately patrolled Walmart and came to the house. I began the police report and the officer was called away to an emergency. I called Mike (step Dad) who came over toute suite with my Mom. I completed the police report, made copies and called my insurance agent. I had been informed by the officer that because I accepted collateral it could not be considered a stolen vehicle. I didn't cry. Oh no. Not yet.

I also called the girls who had originally test drove the car and that stated that they had seen a lady at the corner wondering around looking at fence and acting weird while they were waiting for me to arrive. They were sweet and helpful and obviously not associated to freak momma.

Three hours had passed since dishonest psycho stole the car. The officer returned and went over the report. He was called away and told me to call him in the morning. By this time it was 2 PM and my Mom and Mike left. I opted to head to a local Justice Center to address a warrant for an unpaid speeding ticket (I was going 5 over, please) Yes, I was speeding and yes I didn't ever do anything about it so I was accountable. This is the part when I cried as worker chick there was worse than awful and should not be permitted to interface with the general public. Whew, now that that's off my chest...

While I was there I get a call from a dude with a thick accent who wants to buy my car. I thought for sure it was another scammer from KSL as heaven knows we've had a ton of them contact us. I wasn't very nice and told him that the car was not for sale. He grew agitated and finally said, 'Lady, you are right here in my car lot. Why won't you just tell me the truth?'

WTH?! I told him that the car was stolen 4 hours prior and tried to get the address but I couldn't make out his English. I called SJ dispatch immediately who took the info and proceeded to tell me it was out of their jurisdiction. They would need to coordinate and would try to have officers get there from another area. In the mean time I called my Mom who immediately made a mad dash to the car lot. I called my brother to have him meet her as she was emotionally charged and obviously going to confront a criminal. All I could think was gun, knife, dirty needle. Ugh.

I called car dude back, he said she was trying to trade the car in, that she was still there and that he had customers so I needed to leave him alone! I made my own mad dash for the cheesy/sleazy car lot down town and was greeted by my brother. The story I got was a wild one that seemed even less unlikely. My Mom pulled in behind dirty chick parking her in and got out only to begin SCREAMING at her. Keep in mind that my Mom is a School Psychologist and also teaches anger management!!!

Yucky gal kept trying to feed her stories only to be told to SHUT UP repeatedly by my Mother at crazy volumes while all of the Sales dudes gathered. Dirty girl says she is going for a walk and my Mom gets up in her grill and goes chest to chest with her. My brother shows up to see all of this and witness the crazy stories icky psycho was spewing. She came up with all kinds of lies and even threw her arms in the air and pulled the God card. Excuse me? It there NO accountability left in this world?

Police arrived and detained her. SJ Police arrived, get fed all kinds of additional lies and arrested our dirty deceiver. Yes, hand cuffs and all and she was tossed in the back seat of the cruiser. She had a revoked CA license and all kinds of tracks up and down her arms. There was zero remorse as the cruiser drove away and she screamed at me from the back seat. The police told me very little so I literally know jack squat but we do have our car back and I will have to go to court.

Ironically we had until 6 AM tomorrow morning at which point the car would be officially classified as stolen and our insurance company would immediately kick in and cut us a check. I worked out all of the preliminary details and really didn't expect to see the car again. I was kind of excited and we were going to make some money in the deal. Wasn't in the cards for us!

The car lot tried to swing a deal to buy the car but it didn't fly. We went to leave and the car wouldn't start. We jumped it and were finally on our way. On the way home Mike broke down in it because it was out of gas. Are you kidding me?! That was yet another fiasco that just made it all the more painful!

Special thanks to the following heroes today;
Mommy Amy
- She took DD to his doctor's appointment and hung onto the kids all day during my drama. She was supportive and also the one who said that I should call the police ASAP. Mike - I didn't even have to ask him to come over. He immediately volunteered and stayed with me the remainder of the day. He went out of his way to make things easy for me.
My Mom - For taking the day off of work, chasing down and confronting a criminal. She's one determined mo fo and kept things light which made it easy not to cry!
Jazz - For making sure Mom didn't totally lose it! He jumped in quickly and made sure my Dad got a good laugh out of it all! Rock on.
Office MW - He was super busy but made time for this. He followed up and took care of business! The kids are excited to meet him tomorrow morning before school when he comes to pick up grungy gal's cruddy title.

Mark and Michelle both get a big fat boo from me. Their work schedules don't really work for me! ;)

On top of it all I went into major pain over dinner while at Leatherby's after a day chalked full of contractions. I drove straight to the hospital and baby cakes was deemed well after careful monitoring. The contractions were irregular, they found blood, ketones and protein in my urine. I never do anything normally. There's definitely a pattern here. Regardless, I'm home. I have my babies with me and I'm so ready for bed! If I had more energy I could make this story more creative, detailed or humorous but I'm pretty much done for the day.

On the B Side: Wow, I'm sure I have learned a lot and I'm sure there is lots to be thankful for but right now the sunny side of things isn't what sticks out in my mind so much. What I really don't understand is how people can be so dishonest and take advantage of others so carelessly. Really?

12 shout outs:

Teh Andrew said...

HOLY COW!!! That's a crazy story! Some giant piece of crazy stole your car...speaking of that, I'm looking to buy a car. What are ya sellin'? :) I'm sorry you and your family had to go through that...what a freak!!

Achtung Amy! said...

LOL. I love your mom! Thats the best part of the story. Glad things got sorted out in the end. Geez, what a dealio!!!

Now lets have a baby already. ;)

Rory Boyer said...

You know, you rarely get a good story of day that went as "Normal" or as "Planned".
This will be a day that you will never forget and in the end it all worked out! So that is awesome!

Rory Boyer said...

Ohh and whats cooler about this story? It happend on my Birthday! Yeah the universe must love me and gave you all the bad luck and I got to hear a cool story!

Teh Andrew said...

He's back working for JASON?!?! That's the job I was going for...man, that sucks. Hey, if you have any openings there that you think I'd be interested in, please let me know...I'd still love to work for Oracle.

I bought an '02 Accord a couple years ago that I don't have anymore...I liked it, it was really durable, but I was way too tall for it and always hit my head when I'd get in. But I'm envious also...it's just that any SUV or truck for $3k is like 10 years old with 150k miles on it. Boo!

Lol yeah, they were glad I found all the "stats" on the issue with the fees...the only programmer for that product is in some trouble, b/c apparently several people asked him about it and told him it needed to be fixed, but he wouldn't listen and said it worked fine...so now he's in the doghouse, and rightfully so.

Teh Andrew said...

Also, Holly is doing well :) She had a sore throat over the weekend and went to her doctor, but they said everything is fine, which is good. Her PUPPS or whatever is coming back, though, as of today. I hope it goes away again...she's kind of on and off with excitement about the baby. I think she's kind of not ready, but can't wait to get the pregnancy over with. I feel bad for her trying to get comfortable and whatnot. Especially when she climbs into bed, 'cause it's so tall. But, Trent is still perfectly healthy, so hooray!

shell said...

HOLY SHIZZLE! That is far by the craziest thing I have ever read in the world. I can't believe that happened to you. HOW CRAZY! and I can't believe in all the drama that you didn't go into labor.

I am so glad that nothing bad happened to you...i.e. the lady being physical or pulling a gun on you... or whatever.

Britta so crazy! So crazy... your mom is a rock star!

lizzo said...

The whole time I was reading this I was thinking "she is making this up! There's no way all this could happen!"

Bless your heart...this is funny reading for the rest of us.

Cliff and Cynthia (at home at work at play) said...

Impossible! This couldn't be funnier (now that it's over and all's well that ends well)
Sorry you had to go through this but you did have me laughing with all of your "names" for people. And props to your mom for kickin' booty!

Krystal said...

Dang!!! I can't believe that dirty dirt! I wish I was there so we could go buy one of those chocolate chip bread thingys that always make us feel better. But I guess that would have to be in France... maybe next time. ;)

I'm glad everything was taken care of! One day you'll read back through this and laugh... I hope!

Kristin said...

Man! Britta, I'm so sorry. Clancy told me a VERY short version of your story ("Britta's car got stolen yesterday"), but I had NO idea. Also sorry it took me this long to finally sit still long enough to read it. SO SORRY!!! Talk about a crappy day. I'm glad you got the car back; too bad the "cards" weren't there. I hope everything goes well with baby cakes.

P.S. I didn't read all the comments, but did catch Achtung Amy's... all I can say is, "of course she loves what your mom did; she TOTALLY would do it if she had been there." Gotta' keep that girl calm. Has she ever told you about the girl that kicked her car?

Michelvis said...

Trust me, my job gets a boo from me too. I'm sorry I couldn't talk long and come help.