Still Going

Me, the Energizer Bunny and Adi Cakes! We are still going and I'm starting to wonder if the light at the end of our 11 day tunnel is a train coming directly at us!!!

I way overdid it yesterday and could actually feel my bones aching (sucks to get old!) but none of it was enough to prompt the babe to join us. I'm pretty sure she is already taking after her Uncle Jazz and hiding herself away unnecessarily!

Strong Nordic Stock? I'd say so! Still going...

On the B Side: I'm way stoked to see the doc tomorrow!

Papa Don't Preach!

Are you kidding me? Let me repeat myself. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Yes, it's true. My darling Father skirted around an old near and dear promise. The promise as I have previously mentioned in past posts was that there were to be no secrets. The promise contended that we would not edit/delete/sugar coat any of life's happenings. For years he has held true and has told me the straight and very direct truth as life has unfolded.

For instance, while I was in the Missionary Training Center he wrote (there are no phone calls) and told me about my Grandfather's heart attack. This is the kind of thing that people neglect to tell others thinking that they are doing them a service of some kind. The intent is to spare stress and worry which is believed to be in the best interest of another. I get it...I just don't agree...at all.

While the intent is pure it doesn't do anyone any good to hide the elephant in the kitchen. I do not like secrets and let's face it, eventually information of this nature is generally given to everyone in these types of situation or found out in the natural course of time. So while my Father has fared extremely well and held true over the course of many secret ridden years he has alas faultered!

He was in the hospital yet again this week. He spent much time in the Telemetry unit given some iunexpected and unknown issues with his heart. HIS HEART. Now it wasn't all that long ago that he was in the hospital with lyme disease that took some time to diagnose and the reality is that we almost lost him last year while he was in the hospital with other complications.

On the B Side: I am so grateful that he is doing well now. He has received excellent care and is now home safely resting. He lives near a huge cutting edge facility and that helps as well. While I am sad that I didn't know while he was going through everything I let him know how I felt and hopefully despite his best intentions this won't happen again! Communication is everything and I firmly believe this. The other thing to consider is that if people don't know you are struggling or ill then they can't pray for you! Just say no to secrets.

Really???

Things that have not yet put me into labor or worse;

-My Dad being in the hospital not once but twice on the other side of the country
-The excitement of my only brother's wedding (which was a great thing)
-Big career shift at the office (also a really good thing but nonetheless a boat load of stress)
-Having our car stolen & subsequently dramatically recovered (see previous posts)
-A crazy incident at our home with the children that's put us all in therapy (literally)
-Time...both of my children came in the 37th week & I'm now in the 38th (this is just mean)
-Gestational Diabetes (she's going to be a BIG girl not much unlike Elles who was 8 lbs 10 oz)
-A brain tumor & lupus (oh yes, don't forget my favorite pre-existing friends)
-Working full time (up until yesterday...rock on)
-Lovingly chasing 3 pumpkin heads at home (and trying not to become 'Mommy Dearest')
-Managing a household (we're all lucky to have clean clothes most days)
-Moving due to Mortgage fraud (dishonest bastages)
-Moving into a brand new home that flooded the next day (AKA 3 days before Christmas)
-Selling our original home (which fell through after way too long into the process)
-Managing our tenants who are NOT on a contract
-Packing to move and not moving (all post fraud)
-Buying a new home (which fell through also post fraud after the last move)
-Dayton's CPAP drama & 2 sleep studies (and checking on him 4X's a night)
-MARK xxox

and if the Utah heat doesn't do it than heaven help me!

On the B Side: I'm grateful for something and if you give me long enough I'll think of it!!!!

A Heart Like His

There are so many times in life when things just come together. I can't fully explain it nor do I understand it but I can state that I do not believe in coincidence and I do awknowledge His hand in my life. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason.

I read the most profound book last weekend by Virginia Pearce. She is one of the children of President & Sister Hinckley and writes much like her Father spoke. Oddly enough a male co-worker/friend of mine mentioned this book to me and I've been in love with it from the moment I picked it up for so many reasons.

The book is more about becoming rather than doing. I love that simple idea. She speaks of making a heart soft and enlarged and available but it isn't about busying yourself and or making your life more stressful. She uses some simple experiences from her own life and is willing to expose some of her own weaknesses and she also uses the strong example of her precious Mother.

I believe it's true that when we feel loved by the Lord, we automatically treat other people more lovingly. She presents an experiment in the book that she tried with a group of woman and encourages readers to try as well by posing the following question;

Does simply opening our hearts to others also invite Him into our hearts?

So often we pray for His love to fill our hearts, then we turn towards others with a softened heart. The plan she presents is to simply be more aware of the condition of our hearts, and with this awareness, crack them open a bit wider. The desire is to simply open your heart to others in the hopes that they could feel the love of the Lord more fully in their lives.

Our only job is to keep praying, thinking about our heart - is it open, nonjudgemental, loving and accepting? I fall short but being more aware of this has already helped me catch myself and be better...or at least try! I love the honesty and imagery in this passage that she shares;

"I can actually feel my heart change its physical texture, size, and position, in relation to my spiritial condition. It gets hard and tiny and moves back behind my chest wall when I am angry and wirthdrawn and self-absorbed. On the other hand, when I am filled with love and reaching out to others, it softens and warms and moves forward - it is enlarged and full."

Softens. Warms. Moves forward. Englarged. Full. Here is an amazing quote from her Father that she cites;

"Be not faithless, but believing. Believe in yourselves. Believe in your capacity to do some good in this world. God sent us here for a purpose, and that was to improve the world in which we live. The wonderful thing is that we can do it" - President Gordon B. Hinckley

Did you catch that? Did you read it? Do you believe it? WE CAN DO IT. We can do good and we do need to believe in ourselves. I love the optimism and simplicity his words present! It's so encouraging and brings so much hope right up to the surface.

Here are three more questions that she poses that have really caused me to pause and think;
1) What is it that pries open a hardened heart?
2) What enlarges and softens the most shriveled of human souls?
3) What is the most desirable, the most delicious, the most joyous above all to the soul?
Her answer is being flooded with God's love, being awash with His profound acceptance and glory, being encircled and comforted and healed and set free to go and do!

The other point she makes is that we all have trials that bring us to our knees! This was so crazy refreshing for me to read, ponder and really realize. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in our own issues and wonder why others have it so differently and perhaps so easily. The point is that we all have problems big enough for us to desperately need HIM.

On the B Side: I have so much more to share, so much more that this small book has taught me; however, I have to get my kids to school! I love learning, feeling and growing!!!!