Peace Out

Time moves very quickly and life can become chaotic. Between the demands of work, three small children and everything else that hits, it can be a little overwhelming . More than anything at this point in my life, I crave peace. I love the quiet moments that allow me to regroup, gather my thoughts, dump whatever is on my mind that need not be there and just breathe. I am a girl that loves to have a plan and it is after those quiet moments that I quickly create my lists, organize my thoughts and come up with a strategy to make it all work.

Yesterday I walked to the school to meet up with the kids to walk home with them. They were not expecting me and took a different route. Normally, this would have sent me into a blind panic but for whatever reason yesterday, I was at peace. I * felt * peace and it * felt * so good. With that peace came hope. Hope is encouraging. Refreshing. Needed.

The sun was out and was warming my face. The wind was gently blowing my hair and I was HAPPY. Happy to be out and about. Happy to be mobile. Happy to be healthy. Happy to have three really great children. Happy to have a career that I love. Happy to have a home. Happy to have meaningful relationships with friends and family. Happy that I am able to make it all work on my own.

I continued to walk home happy as a clam at high tide. I met the children a block or so from home and I was elated to see their sweet little smiling faces. They add so much depth, meaning and purpose to life and I love them so much. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Peace. Hope. Happy. It was all mine! I felt recharged. I felt a renewed energy and was spurred forward.

On the B Side: Words do little justice to what I FELT yesterday. I wanted to bottle it up and save it for another moment in time...a moment when I felt weak and inadequate and unsure how to proceed. We are all faced with those less than pleasant moments. Being able to think above those negative feelings and remember the positive ones is crucial. Oh how I love and cherish those sincerely happy moments that fill your heart with gratitude! Mmm Mmm good <3

Simple Abundance

There's a little sign that hangs above my sink in the kitchen that reads, 'Simple Abundance'. I've learned (often the hard way) that it's the little things, the simple things that take on the most meaning. This is the principal behind my love for our old faded Buzz Lightyear blanket. Today was an emotional day for me for many reasons and I really want to focus on the sheer sweet goodness of it all. Here is a short list of the things that touch my heart and keep it warm;

• Dayton - I often sit back and marvel at the miracle he is, how it all happened and just how lucky I am to have this sweet little boy. Monday I was in a pile of tears and he just sat and quietly rubbed my back. Surely if he were a Care Bear he'd be Tenderheart Bear. Need I say any more? So.Easy.To.Love.
• Ellianne - She's got a smile that is full of life, light and everything good. She's bright, sharp and shiny. She doesn't miss a thing and know how to take charge of a situation. I love to sit back and quietly watch her in action. If she were a Care Bear she would surely be Fun Shine bear with darling angel kisses scattered across her face (and then she would tell you all about it!) So.Very.Endearing.
• Adalie - Oh the grand finale she is! She is a little firecracker and burns white hot. She doesn't stop moving, has a very determined mind of her own and loves, loves, loves to be held. She is the perfect blend of tender meets strong. She really does complete us and if she were a Care Bear she would be Brave Heart and she would have the funniest and fiercest little roar to prove it. So.Absolutely.Darling.
• Phone Call Home - I started off the day with a call to my Dad and I must say that there are few things that warm my heart quite like a quiet chat with him. He's the ultimate life coach and way better than my favorite comfort food! I will take a 5 second convo with him any day over a new pair of cute shoes!
• VM's from Dear Friends - I received several today unexpectedly and I cannot tell you how much it meant to me. I was touched knowing that they thought of me and bummed that I missed the actual calls. This simple act of kindness brings tears to me eyes and makes me feel so grateful to have such genuine friendships in my life. I love being connected.

On the B Side: While it was different being on my own on Thanksgiving it certainly gave me time to quietly reflect on the things that mean the most to me in this life. I secretly love the quiet down time but am always happy to be up and running again when life hits...and it always does!

Thursday 13

Once upon a time there was a girl who blogged. Recently she was reminded how cathartic it can be. For starters, I've been thinking a lot about personal perspective lately. Perspective encompasses so much and here is mine on a specific topic.

Here is a list of why I love my job;

1. I am surrounded by crazy talented people.
2. I work with people around the world.
3. I contribute to the greater whole.
4. I have opportunity to train formally.
5. I have opportunity to travel.
6. I work with many different lines of business.
7. I work remotely from home (in my jammies!)
8. I get to run really cool projects.
9. The work is constantly changing.
10. I really like my boss and extended team.
11. I can track my efforts and see personal and professional progress.
12. I earn an honest paycheck.
The very most important reason;
13. I am learning every day!

On the B Side: It matters very little what I do. The point is that I LOVE WHAT I DO. For starters, I have a job and I choose to love it! It doesn't matter who you are or where you work, there will always be positive aspects of the work if you choose to recognize them. I love my job and being able to progress. I love moving forward and contributing to the greater good of a company. Everyday I become a little more talented and a little more skilled. Some times that comes by being in the heart of the fire and some times that comes by nature of those around me and yet other times that comes from the sheer experience of just doing it. Any way you look at it, I am well aware just how lucky I am to have not only a job but this job!

Failure is My New Silver Lining!

FAILURE. It's big, fat and just plain ugly to see and even worse to feel on the inside. I use to hate this word with all my heart. I have a brand new outlook on it and what this word means to me. I am officially and completely refusing to feel bad on the inside about it...STARTING NOW! You should also consider this.

Failure is NEVER a loss. Failure is about always learning. Failure is about acknowledging something didn't happen as you had hoped, picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and MOVING FORWARD with new knowledge. We all know that knowledge is POWER.

Failure has been redefined for me. I am dumping the old negative connotations and feelings that come with this word and replacing it with a new determination to find that damn silver lining EVERY TIME! It's shiny for a reason, people!!

My passion in life is learning. Learning on every level. Learning in every capacity. Learning in every context. Learning intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. I've lost far too much time feeling inadequate, overwhelmed and just plain not good enough. It becomes consuming and at some point you aren't able to see or feel much else.

Life moves at a very rapid pace and there is always going to be somebody else who possesses talents, skills and strengths that seem more desirable then you own. I am losing the notion that I fail simply because I don't measure up to another. I am also ridding myself of the notion that I fail because I haven't lived up to some random and perhaps irrational expectation that I set for myself.

I won't further impress the importance and precious value of time. There is only so much of it in a day and in our lives and it won't last forever. I don't want to spend mine feeling bad and wondering where I went wrong. I want to look at every situation, every decision, every circumstance and see every silver lining that lies therein. No more regrets. No more looking back longingly. No more wishing things were different and absolutely no more feeling like a failure.

The past is the past and you cannot change it. You can definitely learn from it and are empowered when you do so. Silver. Shiny. Look for it. Learn from it. Appreciate it. Apply it and you will never be a failure. It's time to keep trying, keep learning and being better off because of it.

On the B Side: Along with the redefinition of failure on my behalf has come the ability to start to let the guilt go. I simply cannot express how liberating this feels. Give yourself permission to not have to do everything perfectly. Do your very best and feel great knowing that you put it all out there. Be relentless in your efforts to do good and be good. It's okay if your best isn't the exact same as it was yesterday or that it may be different from your best tomorrow. Life is fluid and causes us to adjust. The point is that there is much to learn and that is the shiniest silver lining that I know no matter how you define it.