Peace Out

Time moves very quickly and life can become chaotic. Between the demands of work, three small children and everything else that hits, it can be a little overwhelming . More than anything at this point in my life, I crave peace. I love the quiet moments that allow me to regroup, gather my thoughts, dump whatever is on my mind that need not be there and just breathe. I am a girl that loves to have a plan and it is after those quiet moments that I quickly create my lists, organize my thoughts and come up with a strategy to make it all work.

Yesterday I walked to the school to meet up with the kids to walk home with them. They were not expecting me and took a different route. Normally, this would have sent me into a blind panic but for whatever reason yesterday, I was at peace. I * felt * peace and it * felt * so good. With that peace came hope. Hope is encouraging. Refreshing. Needed.

The sun was out and was warming my face. The wind was gently blowing my hair and I was HAPPY. Happy to be out and about. Happy to be mobile. Happy to be healthy. Happy to have three really great children. Happy to have a career that I love. Happy to have a home. Happy to have meaningful relationships with friends and family. Happy that I am able to make it all work on my own.

I continued to walk home happy as a clam at high tide. I met the children a block or so from home and I was elated to see their sweet little smiling faces. They add so much depth, meaning and purpose to life and I love them so much. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Peace. Hope. Happy. It was all mine! I felt recharged. I felt a renewed energy and was spurred forward.

On the B Side: Words do little justice to what I FELT yesterday. I wanted to bottle it up and save it for another moment in time...a moment when I felt weak and inadequate and unsure how to proceed. We are all faced with those less than pleasant moments. Being able to think above those negative feelings and remember the positive ones is crucial. Oh how I love and cherish those sincerely happy moments that fill your heart with gratitude! Mmm Mmm good <3

This Month in Pictures

I've fallen painfully behind! Here is a glimpse into our life since September has begun! We hung out at Marcy and Jeff's. Between our 2 families we have 8 kids! Here are the 6 oldest; Carter, McKayla, Elise, Noah, Dayton and Ellianne.
Ellie loves to stop and pose for the camera!
Kayla stops playing to smiling for the camera!
Dayton strikes a pose and makes a silly face!
Dayton got this Mr. Incredible costume when he was 4. He is now 6 and still wears it...with is Hulk crocs. This pose was his own making!
Ellie was all curls for picture day at school!

Kayla and her Kindergarten curls!

Adi has graduated from the sink to the tub!

My bestest bud Rebecca at work spent some time with us.

Dayton is on a soccer team with his cousin Neal. I caught him mid-air in this one!

Dayton and Neal at their first game last week. They are too cute!Ellie and Kayla started school after Labor Day. They are both in an all day private Kindergarten together. Kayla is the tallest and Ellie is the smallest!

On the B Side: September is flying by! I am absolutely in love with Fall and the kids are excited about Halloween already! Despite our day to day struggles there is much happiness in our lives.

Friday's Fabulous Five

Fridays are officially dedicated to all things fabulous per one of my bff's! I've decided to dedicate today specifically to people in my life. While I will highlight a select few that is not to say that tere are not otherFive people in my life that are fantastic:

1 - My Father...he is alive, wonderful and amazing! He has had some close calls over the past year with his health and apparently the good Lord needs him here...and let it be known that I need him here. Each time I think I couldn't be more blessed to have him in my life he gives me even more reasons to be grateful and stand in admiration. He's a strong example of goodness and light. He's not perfect and he's no doctor but he does save lives! He's been my best friend forever and even though I don't always take your wise advice, I do always listen, Popsicle! I love you so much, Dad (and sometimes I even miss you sorry butt! xxox)

2 - My Momma-cita...predictable right? Wrong. We haven't always been this close. She moved her whole life across the country for me during my divorce. She's the last person I thought I would want near me (sorry, Mom!) but the very person that I needed the most! She picks Dayton up every morning and brings him home every afternoon. How helpful is this? We have 4 kids and both work full time. You find the empirical value of the square root of the hypotonuse to this equation!! She always helps when we move, when I'm pregnant or sick. She brings dinner and watches kids. She is a loving presence in our daily lives. I have no idea what I do do without her (and there are times when I don't know what to do with her!)

3 - Shellbait...the bff of a lifetime! I know, I know. Bff's everywhere. They come and go throughout different times and stages of our lives. This one I'm keeping. She is a staple in lives and is as family. Yes, my Sister of another Mister (except I'm not Mexican and neither of us pencil in our eye brows). Odd that she came into our lives as she did. Odd that she was the former girlfriend of my ex husband (yes, after we divorced) but she endeared herself to me with the genuine love she held for my children. So we've kept her for going on 3 years now and there is no sign of letting up...ever. She's strong, determined, full of life and energy and has a heart that more often than not extends far beyond herself. She'll always be my favorite porch monkey!`

4 - Adi...our tiny dancer! As the smallest and newest member to our family I feel compelled to share just how much we love this little lady. She is the most amazing blessing. True to Jerry McGuire style...she completes us. We are a full circle with her. She was the missing link and now this tiny little human comes and offers way more love than her small self seems capable of holding! She loves to stretch her arms and we always smile. She is always dancing her sweet little feet and we always smile. She watches the world around her and reminds all of us just how simple and wonderful life really is. She exudes love to everyone and everyone loves her. It's just that easy. How can you not express and feel love in such a Heavenly presence?

5 - BaFark...last but certainly not least. I do not profess to have a perfect marriage. In fact I can admit that there are times when we don't get along and I can tell you that some times we don't even like each other. If you are married and honest with yourself I am certain you could say the same. Marriage is a lot of work and you can't possibly understand how hard it us until you live it. If you thought a 1st marriage was hard I can tell you that a 2nd makes it look like a walk in the park! Ain't no easy, breezy, beautiful here! We work hard and that's what makes it even more satisfying. We're blending lives together and we remain committed. We're talking about mine, yours and ours. Emotions run high. Communication is more crucial than ever. Some times it feels like Mark and I are stumbling through it together and other times we feel in control, organized and almost flawless. Regardless of what day it is or what trial is upon us of this I am sure, I love my Marky Mark.

On the B Side: I love being surrounded by loved ones! I have friends and family that I love more than anything and that mean the world to me. I have people that love me unconditionally, people that I love unconditionally, people that rely on me and people that I rely upon. I am happy. I feel happy.

MAC is Back!

Oh yes. It's true. MAC is back! My amazing make up and myself are reunited and it feels so good! Lingy, I love you and I am sorry. I started back to the office on Monday and must confess that I worked myself up in vain. I sat in my chair first the first time in two months and thought about everything that has changed and it's sheer craziness. The best part? I LOVE IT!

Despite my complete and total sleep deprivation I feel energized. I feel alive and I feel happy. Things always work out and the fear of moving forward and stepping into that darkness is overwhelming. The uncertainty and the unknown can be all consuming. Once you are able to look back you know that you were safe all along and that hope was always shining brightly. THE PASSWORD IS COURAGE.

Adi is beautiful, amazing and loved by all! Mark's ex wife's Mother tends her. I know, weird right? BUT it works and it works well! So far, so good. She is smiling voluntarily and has the prettiest and petitest little features! She only cries when she is hungry and she doesn't mess around in that circumstance. She finally hit 9 lbs and is healthy...such a huge, huge blessing!

Dayton is a little 1st grade rock star! He reads like a mo fo and plays soccer like he was born to ball! Ah, that boy warms my heart and soon his ski season will be upon us. Snow Basin with Grandma Mikey is his gig and I am as excited for him as he is excited to ski! He's stuck with the CPAP despite the fact that he hates it. He is a smart little dude with a heart of gold. ROCK ON.

Ellie has started private all day Kindergarten. Her uniform eliminates MANY battles and she's as cute as ever! She is gearing up for her 5th birthday party at Sweet and Sassy and is all kinds of stoked! She's like a little mini teenager. She does hug and kiss DD every morning before my Mom picks him up and always waves goodbye as they drive off! Sooooo dang PRECIOUS! She's full of fire and has a personality the size of Texas!

McKayla is in Kindergarten with Beans. She has adjusted suburbly to her teacher and her new classmates! She is a great listener and is now with us every morning. It is so crazy good to see her daily and be a bigger part of her little life! This also allows her to see the baby more and keeps her feeling more connected with us. She's finished swimming and is back in Dance and Baton. She is such a good, good girl and always make sure everyone is okay, included and feel important and loved.

On the B Side: It feels good to feel so happy. My life is so far from perfect but is so incredibly blessed!!!

Happy Day to Me!

Holy helpful husband batman! My Marky took over last night around 11 pm and stayed up/tended Adi until 7 AM this morning. The sleep was woooonderful despite my nightmares! Am I the luckiest girl in the world or what?!