Swift Kick to the Kimmy

So close yet so far away. Keep in mind that while I am a girl, I do not typically break down and I do not cry regularly. All things said, I have been holding up and managing quite nicely despite the recent challenges. Touche!

Yesterday was a huge milestone for me. Mark and I have been separated for over a month now. 6/29 marked the last day at the office for me for the luxurious space of 2 weeks. Originally we had planned to be in PA...home sweet home. Given the changes in our lives it worked out that I will be cleaning, packing, moving, unpacking and settling during this time frame. Normally I would beg and plead for a trip home and look back longingly feeling bad that I couldn't be there but this time around the move actually represents living again...having a life, providing security and being with my children once more. So there is no way to feel bad about it...or is there?

OH MY HELL. 6/28 came and I was able to get back into our home grace a les tenants. They had vacated the property and I braced myself. Kougy and her Jason graciously provided me with a fridge...at the drop of a hat and even delivered the sucker. I am one lucky girl. I know this and I love them. I quickly went through the house...wondered why the windows were open but whatever. I.DID.NOT.CRY.(except for maybe when Koug in her mountain mama shirt hugged me on the front lawn but thankfully she wasn't driving the Subaru this day so the neighbors suspect nothing!!!)

Enter 6/29. I picked up the kids so they could go see the house. Mark had stopped by and closed all the windows the night before...we opened the door from the garage AND I THREW UP A LOT IN MY MOUTH. Okay, not really but if my lungs weren't burning from the PEE FEST I may have puked. It was liked someone gave me a swift kick in the kimmy and wrung all of the air out of my lungs. The smell was overwhelming. Disgusting. Fowl. Wrong. I tried, I really did. I tried not to cry. The kids were there and they were excited and I didn't want to ruin it. I quickly walked them to their rooms so they could see and possibly remember and then I quickly herded them out. Tear threat level was red hot at this point.

I got my small tribe back into the car, buckled them all in, put my sunglasses on to hide the nuclear meltdown that was about to occur and turned on the music in a last ditch effort to conceal my mounting emotional outpour.

The urine is gross. The fact that our tenants lived in it for two years is grosser than gross. The fact that it...THEY stole and delayed my life, squashed my security and infuriated mewas more than I could handle. I have been living in transition for too many weeks. I will spare the details, not because my glass is half full or because my glasses are rosey but for the sake of complaining just a little bit less.

Enter BaFarky. Yes, Marky Mark saved the whole day and I didn't have to ask. Larger then life. It didn't matter that we are separated or that we struggle. What mattered to him during those moments is that I was a pile of tears and without any forethought he raced to our rescue. He immediately put a plan together...which is far more than I was capable of at that point. He spent many late hours tearing the urine infested carpet and padding out of a home that he is not moving into with us. He made the arrangements to have new carpet immediately installed and worked out a way to pay for it. My head is still spinning by the outpouring of his selfless effort.

I dropped off dinner to him and cried as I drove back to my Mom's. I was touched. humbled. grateful. In the most unlikely of circumstances he did the most unlikely series of acts of kindness. Regardless of what is or isn't, I know that I was blessed and it was Mark who quietly and without any agenda carried me through this evening...and likely without knowing it.

On the b Side: This is the Reader's Digest version but you get the jist. I woke up today excited and refreshed. I feel the love and support of so many people and some who are of the most unlikely. As I type and sift through the random stream of thoughts in my mind now, I can feel the tears race down my cheeks as my heart overflows. I am beyond lucky and if feeling this way means taking a swift one every so often then bring it on. Yes, apparently I really do cry a lot and today it feels fabulous. Now please excuse me while I go enjoy Day 1 of my vay-cay and cut some more fresh strawberries!

p.s. It is note worthy that while your tenants may make timely payments does NOT mean that their damn yappy dog is not destroying your home.

Manic Monday: Cloud

Please click here to see what all of the hub bub is about and join Mo's fun!

Many times growing up in the summer we could play in the front yard of my Grandparents home. Given that our home was next to theirs, this was something that Jazz and I (along with cousins and neighbors) did often. Oh how I miss that time and place. I look back fondly and with a heart full of love. It literally brings tears to my eyes as I do so miss PA and it will always be 'home'

I can still see it all so clearly in my mind. The grass was always lush and green. The mountains were always full of greenery and softly rolled across the horizon. We would lay down and roll down the slight decline of a hill laughing all the way. The hill seemed fairly big back then and almost even steep. Having seen it many years later I perceived it so much differently. Growing up tends to do that...some times, it's a good thing. Some times it is a bad thing.

When you got to the bottom of this hilly yard, it was normal to stop and lie on your back waiting for the dizziness to pass as you gained your barrings. Those quiet moments afforded time to study the sky and literally watch the clouds roll by. I loved to indulge cloud gazing and you really could see them moving. I loved to determine what type of clouds were in the sky (and based my analysis Mr. Costello's 4th grade science class!) and find images and shapes in them.

The world really was a simpler place back then. As I think back to this time in my life it almost just feels like a really good dream that leaves you feeling warm and peaceful when you wake. So much has happened since those care free days full of giggles. The word cloud quickly brought me back and if it is one thing that I love, it's a good memory.

On the B Side: I will be traveling to PA in March for work. The only piece of 'home' that really remains constant for me is my Father and he will likely be out west helping to tend the children in my absence. This is a great thing simply because he will get to meet our little Adalie, spend some time with Dayton, Ellie and McKayla and see Jazz and Micci (oh and this time he won't have be ill). I'm happy that things are working out this way (even if I don't get to see him) but that doesn't keep me from missing home and reflecting fondly back upon what made it all so great. Yes, I am wiping away the tears now but these are the good kind of tears. xoxo

On the Road Again?

36 hours + 8 states + 3 days + 3 adults + 3 kids + 2 dogs + 1 truck = a rootin' tootin' good time (please let me be cheesy in my hour of excitement!) It's a straight shot across route 80!

Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio and onto home. Home sweet home. Say it with me. Just say it with me. You know you want to and I know that you wish it were your home, too.

P-E-N-N-S-Y-L-V-A-N-I-A.

Yes, it is within the realm of possibility. I have made this road trip many times; however, I have not made it since I was 21. That's a lot of years ago (gulp) and if I'm ever to pull this off I will be taking three of the kids and I'M SO EXCITED! I seriously could pee my pants and not even care right now.

I haven't been home in almost 4 years and that was beyond a disastrous trip right out of the gate that time around. The kids were ages 1 and 2 and I had surgery on my foot the week before we flew (broke a bone in my foot, had to have it extracted and a tendon reattached, ugh). Not sure how the three of us made it across the country and I'm pretty sure I have blurred the whole trip out in my mind but I do so love home.

My dad has flown out here each year and while I'm always glad to have him with us, it isn't the same as being home with him. Dayton has been talking about him a ton lately and it's hard to explain the time and distance away. We're already planning a trip to Hershey, NYC, Little League Museum, family reunions, Lewisburg, the Amish Markets, Knoebels, Penn State, grave side visits, the Twin Kiss, and lots of time at the house (in the pool and with the cats!) but I don't dare set my heart on the trip too much as the thought of it not working out just sucks!

My step Dad Mikey is quite the character and I do so love him. Today we (me, Dayton, Ellie and Adi) drove to his home and he cleaned all off the dog poop off of Dayton's boots (sick, nasty and wrong task). He also cleaned it all out of the inside of my car and thoroughly cleaned the car mat (seriously, it was everywhere). He does a great job of helping me in many instances and has experienced a real softening over time that is such a blessing to myself and the children.

It was during the poop cleaning extravaganza that he mentioned his road trip to PA (in which I do so hope to hitch a ride!!). He was excited at the prospect of having company in the truck (yes truck...a brand new one that is fully loaded!) So keep your fingers crossed that it all works out, that I get the sign off from the ex and that my new job is permitting

My Mom got home while we were there and Ellie proceeded to tell her that she was going to PA with Grandpa Mikey to see Grandpa John and it looks like my Mom may be joining us. Yes, we will all fit comfortably and Harley and Lilly (huge-o labs) will be accompanying us should we be lucky enough to pull it all together!

On the B Side: I have renewed hope and excitement! I feel like a little kid on Christmas Eve and I love the feeling of pure giddiness! xoxo

Manic Monday: Juice

Mo's Manic Monday: Juice

Today I am kicking it old school with this commercial from 1981. 27 years later I can still sing this jingle verbatim which is interesting given that I couldn't possibly tell you what I was doing 5 minutes ago! I can remember when this gum use to cost $0.25. I have no idea what it costs now and the more I type the older I feel! The mere fact that I can remember anything from 20+ years makes me older than dirt!

On the B Side: This is the kind of thing that really makes me miss home. Life was simple back in the day. I so loved my childhood in the middle of nowhere central PA! Time stops for no one and the more time that passes the more I realize just how incredibly blessed I really am!

The Koug Strikes (raWrrrrrrr!)

Koug has tagged me and instructed me to go onto Google Images and find an image suitable for my response to each question. Take notes and enjoy the ride!

Past Loves: Belge Chocolate! My time in Belgium served me well! I grew up not far from Hershey PA, which seemed fabulous and yes, I swear the whole town smells like flipping chocolatey goodness! However Hershey can hardly hold a candle to the yummy chocolatey goodness that is of the diamond capital of the world! Um hello? Diamonds, chocolate and Mannequin Pis! Does it really get any better than this? Alas I did have to leave Belge chocolate behind to return home but it remains forever etched upon my hips!

My first name: Britta. It's pronounced Brit-ta. Not Breeta. Not Beretta. No Brittany's here. Ain't crazy about being called Bridget (but I'm sure I've been called way worse!) and my name ain't Brenda. It's Britta. Britta and Brit if I like you. Now most unfortunate is the fact that the only association that is made to my name is the Brita Water filter but thank goodness it wasn't like a sewage treatment system or something. Even more unfortunate is the fact that they spelled it wrong. or the love of all that is holy give me two T's please. At any rate, I use to hate it. I'm over it but I forever remain the girl without her name on anything like cute barrettes, or a personalized toothbrush or even a pimpin' key chain!

My Middle Name: Awesomeness you ask? Nope. It's Vaughan. Britta Vaughan. bv. It is the last name of my maternal Grandparents. Unfortunately they have both passed from this life and I do miss them like crazy. I grew up next to them in little ol' Riverside Pennsylvania. My Mommom was my best friend for forever and a day and my Poppop was larger than life. I am beyond honored to carry their name. I posted hydrangeas because they had blue ones that were beautiful outside of their home (and they came up in the search). Mommom loved flowers and Poppop did a great job caring for them. {sigh}

Last Name: Now I know my Dad would tell you "Sweetness" (right, Popsicle?!) but legally it's Stott. Not Stout. Stott. I never wanted to be BS. Previously I was a BS and by 5th grade other kids caught on, brought it to my attention and it pretty much sucked. Now I am a Stott. It rhymes with Dot. I found this image that was something about Andy Stott and his ceramics. While I have no idea who he is the image struck me because I do so love our little blended life that Mark and I have created (despite the stolen cars, stolen checks, car accidents, mortgage fraud, staph infections, pox, the list goes on). Most of all I do LOVE my quirky little Marky Mark! Nothing but good vibrations, can you feel it feel it, baby?

What are you doing now? So I'm pretty much vying to be the hottest Mom ever! Okay, okay. I've got some work to do and I'm sure you're thinking, how on earth is she going to pull this off? Right here, folks! For me it pretty much has nothing to do with being jaded by romance as I'm way over all that jazz (not this Jazz). For me it's going to be an a-Mayes-zing way to burn my negative energy right out of my system, spend some quality time with my girlies AND get hot! Yes, if you haven't checked it out, please do so as all are welcome! The motto: Don't Get Mad, Get Hot! Yes, JAYDUD. Just About You Don't
Underestimate Determination. In reality today I am just spending time with Adi and Ellie and wishing I didn't feel like a dog turd!

My age: I am 18 forever, baby. Yes, forrrrrrr-evvvvvv-errrrrr! I had way too much fun spending way too much time with the biggest dork of a guy from the branch that lusted after my roommate while I was in college (the first time at PSU but please don't ask me about Joe Pa) who swore that my 2 roommates and myself were 18 forever (and we really were 18 at the time so whatev!) The passage of time may age me physically but in my heart I will always be 18 and will emphatically deny otherwise!

My Favorite Treat: Cheese fondue, hands down! This is yet another love I developed in Europe but I never had to leave this one behind! Special thanks to the Melting Pot for making all of my dreams come true! While traveling after my mish Bad Dad and I developed quite a love for a fine cheese fondue! While he refused to follow local custom and dance upon the table after losing his bread in the pot it still remains a delightful memory and a delicious treat (except for that last batch you made, Popsicle!!!)

Place I would like to Travel: Ohhhh, someday I want to go on a Mediterranean cruise! Just say the word Mediterranean outloud (you know you want to!). Doesn't it just roll off of your tongue? Doesn't it just seem all romantic/dreamy/wonderful? Someday I would love to sail the ocean blue, visit multiple European countries all from the comfort of a big, fat cruise liner! That way I would stil have all the comforts of home (and then some!) but still be able to travel, see the world and enjoy! Mmm Mmm good!

My favorite color: White. White is my favorite color, ladies and gentlemen! White is pure, clean and refreshing. It is symbolic of goodness and peace. It's associated with innocence and cleanliness. It is truly is a color of perfection and has a positive connotation. It looks good, it feels good and it just is good. White light is also made up of all different colors. So when it's bent it actually produces all of the other colors. So next time you see a rainbow remember that it's all because of the wonderful color white! It's a tad technical and too much for my non-scientific/simpleton/impatient mind to type but you can see the light, right?! BWAHAHAAHAAA!

My Hometown: Danville, although I really grew up in Riverside *which is across the river*. Riverside is just a small 'borough' though and not considered a real town. So each day of my life I would travel to Danville to do basically whatever simply because Riverside only had a set of railroad tracks, a post office and a convenience store. Danville is a small town situated along the Susquehanna river, which was really cool to learn based on church history. It's also exit 33 off of route 80. This means I could hop on route 80 East here in SLC and shoot straight home (after a mere 36 hours!). At any rate, I love my little small town (and my borough!) and the life I had there!

My favorite Vacation Spot: Um I'm going to have to go with Munic. For us "Munchen" wasn't necessarily this place of rich history or culture. It stands for the fun memories we made there. The rude natives trying to get in my Dad's pants (I kid not!), the rain, cheating at Uno, knee knocking (this is where it all began), the sardine pizza, the live beer cultures!

My Favorite Food: So pretty much anything made with Bisquick fits the bill! For years my Dad has made killer pancakes and Chicken and Dumplings to die for with Bisquick! From the wee age that I was in 3rd grade Wendy 'Blackday' (275-4541), Jen Wertz (275-0917)and myself would mix Bisquick with water and a dash of sugar and cinnamon in a cup, nuke it in the mikey for 29 seconds and eat the delicousness that was created! I will admit that I still do this from time to time. When I was on my mish my Dad would send me boxes of Bisquick so I could get my fix, no joke! I always keep a box in our pantry and we go through it rather quickly (and not because I cook!) I have no idea what it is comprised of but dang is it good!

My favorite Animal: Cats. Not just any lame ol' cats but Rubin and the Grateful Ed! Nope, I don't have any pics of them on hand and quite frankly they have been in foster care since the beginning of the year (and no I do not dance with them as said gentleman to the right!). They became part of my life at age 3 in 2000 from a broken family. They are absolutely beautiful! Ed likes to lick people's heads. Don't ask why because I don't know. He actually prefers short hair with gel but he isn't super finicky in his old age. He's a quiet little love bug. Now Rubin is the socialite. He'd sell his soul to sit on your lap for a little lovin'. He likes to sleep on your chest under the covers! One time Mark took them to the shelter and I drove all over the valley until I found them and rescued them once more! They're mine, you hear me!!!

On the B Side: This was a painfully long post! I enjoyed thinking about things and putting it all together. Now I am passing this little baby along and tagging some of the world's coolest bloggers (don't let me down, folks!).
Clancy (because she amazing & a super creative writer)
Kaci (because she is the coolest grown up cheer leader I know)
Micci (because she is the best SIL in the history of the world)
Kristin (because she has the cutest blog ever)
Leah (because her blog is always way entertaining)
Amanda (because she saved my butt many times & she still likes me!)

Serve it up warm, girls!!!!!

Organized Chaos?

This was the image visibile as you came through our front door yesterday. I had to remind myself that the mess below is merely a sign that our house is lived in and loved in but I can't say it made me feel any better. The girls had strategically picked toys, carried them upstairs and created some sort of imaginary life. They had a great time but clean up was no fun for any of us!

Yesterday the girls (ravioli faces and all!) had a blast with an empty box of copy paper! It was some version of Speedracer and kept them occupied for quite a while! Forget all of the expensive toys! This was all they needed...who knew?!

This afternoon Dayton had finished his homework (and quite a bit of it since he missed a few days last week!) and was watching his favorite show; Ben 10. Ellie was 'feeding' her My Little Pony baby and Adi was laying on a blanket on the floor near them. I stepped out of the room for less than 2 minutes and came back to this vision of forbidden giggles...

I love that the kids love the baby but we've had some pretty strict rules about holding her, playing near her and that kind of thing. They know that they are not to pick her up but it was hard to be upset with Dayton and Ellie as they hovered over her and held her close!

On the B Side: My life feels a lot like that first picture looks. It's kind of organized chaos or something along those lines. My immune system is in overdrive and that pretty much stinks so I am anxiously awaiting results from my Doc given that they took like a gallon of blood out last week! Thank you for the call today Kristin. It was refreshing, welcomed and needed! Sorry I had to run given Adi's cries. We took her to the Doc again last night given her tummy issues. I start back to work on the 8th and hope that our lives have some semblance of structure and organization at that point!!!

Mama I'm Coming Home

My Puumpkin heads are coming home today! YAY! This is DD working on his homework! He's so good about doing it and makes me proud!
Here is Boo Boo cuddling up with Lee Lee!
Deedleton is so good about helping out with our little Adi Cakes!

Betty Beans dressed herself and then parked herself next to Adi and in front of the tv!

On the B Side: I am so excited to have them home again!

Manic Monday

Growing up we would skip through the forest located behind our home and play in a small stream nestled quietly in the woods. We had some neighbors that would always lift up the rocks in the water. Once the rocks were removed you could see all kinds of nasty creatures quickly flutter away in the cloudy water. Most often they were crayfish that looked like minature lobsters swimming backwards. They were super creepy to watch and it makes me skin crawl thinking about them.

While I was in New Orleans on business in 2002 I found out that people actually eat these nasty things. That's where today's topic for Manic Monday comes in: boil. Yes, apparently crayfish are boiled, eaten and enjoyed as Cajun cuisine. Gross. Really gross.

On the B Side: I love Mo's Manic Monday posts! I love the simplicity of one word that causes you to think of something entirely random. It's conjures up all kinds of memories for me that I haven't thought about in a long time.

One Week

Adalie is now a week old! One week ago today they were breaking my water right about now. I was propped up in bed in my little hospital gown surrounded by loved ones as we tried to patiently await Adi's arrival. Our lives were about to change forever and even just after the short time she has been with us I cannot imagine our lives without her. She is so familiar and such a beautiful and perfect addition.

We chose the name Adalie as I was looking for something French. Ellianne is also French and was named after a wonderful lady I met in Liege while serving in Belgium. Adalie is also French and means "of divinity". There was nothing more perfect for our little girl knowing that she was coming straight to us from above! Once I read, said and understood this name I knew it was the one for our little girl. She is yet another miracle in our lives given all of the odds being against her arrival!

Her middle name Elizabeth is after my dear friend Liz who recently moved back to Canada. Liz is yet another friend that I will carry with me across space and time. I cannot recount the countless times she has been there for me, helped me, comforted me and supported me even when she didn't understand or necessarily agree. Liz, If you are reading this you have no idea how much I miss you! We hope and pray that our little one possesses and develops many of the special characteristics that make you who you are.

I love the the cuddle time. I love the little granny legs all pulld up tight. I love all of the little noises and squeaks. I love the soft feel of her skin. I love the little kissy lips. I love the little froggy no-butt. I love her eyes as they dart around and doze off. I love her hands that she cuddles up to her face just as she did in the ultrasound. Everything about her is so easy to love!!

The other kids have really been good. Mark has kept them busy this week and everyone seems to be adjusting well. They all love to see her, to hold her and to help care for her. Dayton has been rocking his CPAP machine and will start 1st grade on Tuesday. Ellie has had a few emotional break downs but loves to help and is excited to spend time at home before she starts Kindergarten in September. Kayla isn't here much but apparently has been wearing her "Big Sis" shirt every night at her Mom's.

On the B Side: It's been really nice to have Mark home. It has been an adjustment as normally he works so much but now that I have really gotten use to having him here it's just about time for him to start back to work! At least we have had some quality time together as a family. I want to freeze time at this moment but since it's just not realistic I'll just appreciate what is and smile remembering.

Sick Day

My poor D had a rough night, bless his heart. He seemed to be congested and restless. He awoke and was miserable...likely due to his high fever that just wouldn't quit. At one point this morning he just broke down and cried. When I asked him what was wrong he innocently replied, "I don't know". He just didn't feel well. The fever finally broke after lunch time and he's definitely looking and feeling better.

Initially I tried to work remotely while taking care of my patient but I ended up throwing in the towel with my own temperature accompanied by the I-feel-like-I-just-got-run-over-by-a-truck feeling (likely the one that had him in tears). Ellie was all ready and excited to go to school this AM until it was time to go. She got emotional and being that I didn't feel so hot myself the three of us stayed home and rested quietly. today. There is something so glorious about nap time!



Today's craving was raspberry bread pudding and I was finally able to score some this afternoon! So while I neglected to post on babies' 17th week in utero I haven't forgotten where these cravings come from! Baby has been wiggling around quite a bit lately and it always makes me smile. In a few weeks Mark and the children will also be able to feel these movements. In the mean time the baby is 5 ounces and 5 inches big and next Tuesday we will officially know the gender!

On the b Side: I am grateful for the opportunities I have to be a Mom. Even on days like today it feels good to be able to love and nurture others. There is an amazing feeling of comfort that comes when you can just snuggle your loved ones close and pass the time.

Home Sweet Home

Life is always sweeter when my babies are home! Their Dad dropped them off this evening and I always love hearing about their time away. Ellie graciously helped me fold clothes while Dayton munched on some clementines.

We finished the Magic Tree House book #8 and they were excited. We always switch the names from Annie and Jack to Dayton and Ellie when we read and they love it! They both went to bed quietly and were out before 9. I sure do love my little ones!!!!

On the B Side: I am just thankful to have them home with us again! I'm glad that they're both healthy and happy and just feel so blessed to have these two little amazing spirits in my life!