The Girl Effect

Over the weekend I was on the JoinRed site. (RED) was created by Bono and Bobby Shriver (Chairman of DATA) to raise awareness and money for The Global Fund by teaming up with the world's most iconic brands to produce (PRODUCT)RED branded products. A percentage of each (PRODUCT)RED product sold is given to The Global Fund. The money helps women and children affected by HIV/AIDS in Africa. Watch this short clip closely...

The Girl Effect is predicated upon the fact that adolescent girls are capable of raising the standard of living in the developing world. Girls are a likely agent of change but are often invisible to their societies and our media. Check out this fact sheet compiled by the org. I LOVE THIS!!!!
On the B Side: I am grateful for those that look outside of themselves and see the needs of others. I am even more grateful when their example is one of action and often times the personal sacrifice of time, energy and resources. While I am still unsure how I can personally make a difference in this cause you can be sure that I will continue to research up on it until I find a way!

Rodney Copperbottom Style

"Robots" is one of my all time favorite children's movies. I love that Rodney's chief aspiration is to make the world a better place. The theme expressed in this movie over and over again is "See a Need, Fill a Need"

See a need, fill a need. It's such a simple concept and I can't tell you how many countless times I have witnessed this is action over this past week. While I am not comfortable asking for help (who is?) and even more than that I'm fairly certain that I couldn't even tell you what our needs are/were. A big warm slice of humble pie has been served to me.

At the risk of not mentioning all of the kindness that we have experienced and all of the needs that were seen and filled I will share the following in no particular order;

Our Ward has been awesome and I feel so undeserving given that we do not know these people. I have repeatedly told the Ward Missionaries, RS and Primary that all is well but they have insisted upon caring for us and it's made me realize these things;

A) just how valuable service is
B) it's okay to need help
C) it's okay to accept help
D) people help because they want to
E) you don't have to know people to help them
F) Rodney was definitely on to something

There's my darling SIL, Micci. She and Jazz have been awesome and I'm trying not to feel bad about it. Micci is an amazing cook and without any prompting she has put together not one but now two tasty meals to feed my little family. Again, if someone asked or if someone was waiting on me to ask for help the result would have been the same. My thoughts were that we're really just fine. While 'just fine' is functional I've come to realize that sometimes more really is more so thank you Mic and Jazz for your kindness because it has taken a huge burden off of me.

My Mom is yet another testament of this principle. Several days this week she proactively made arrangements to take the kids and then called again this morning to make plans. In my mind I didn't think it was necessary and hated the idea of putting her out; however, she wants to help and has helped tremendously. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing this has been and I would have had no idea how much I really needed that if she didn't perceive and fill that need. The kids always enjoy their time with her and it gave me a break and just made me even more thankful.

The phone calls, emails and messages from friends has been a crazy source of supoort that I didn't realize would mean so much. It's odd to me that we now have 4 kids and to be honest I thought I could handle it. While I have held my own I definitely underestimated that which was to come. I've had a fair amount of emotional struggles this week some of each I anticipated and some of which have caught me unaware. The outpouring of love has made me feel more capable and definitely provided the comfort and encouragement I didn't know I needed.

On the B Side: This week has made me realize the importance of seeing the needs of others and offering quiet service to help fill those needs. It's so easy to get caught up in our own lives and overlook what small acts of service could really go a long way in the life of another. I've also realized all over again that I just can't do everything.

The quesiton that keeps ruminating in my mind is this, who leaves their family, drives many hours in the middle of the night to help a friend at the drop of a hat? Her name is Clancy and she is wonderful! Thanks to all (and there are many) who have seen my needs and quietly stepped in this week! More than the service you have provided comes a renewed understanding and deeper compassion within myself. Thank you for this invaluable gift.

From Clancy's Jar...

What church callings have you had? Which did you enjoy the most?

(Yeah Clanc, you should have just put this one back in the jar and carried on; however, you put your shoulder to the wheel so I'll play nice and follow your shining example!)

I joined the church on September 10th 1995. I was a freshman in College at Penn State at the time and had studied for about a year before making the committment. My first calling was serving on the Activities Committee. I was so busy acclaimating to the whole culture that enveloped my new membership that I am not sure I enjoyed it because I was so stressed worrying if I was fulfilling my purpose and doing a good job!

I left Penn State and moved to Logan in the Spring of June 1996 for the big Mormon experience and was quickly devastated. I specifically remember people bearing their testimony by introducing themselves and bawling about Princess Diana being dead. I was a crappy visiting teacher, didn't understand what I was supposed to be doing and felt inadequate. I understood what a jack mormon was when I became one. I reluctantly remember attending a Ward function with Clancy where they video taped us asking about our church experience and I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

In the Summer of 1997 I was busy praying my guts out and begging the Bishop (of another Ward....yes I was a Ward hopper and he tenderly took me in!) to send me on a Mission; however, EVERY WEEK in his office he told me that my heart wasn't ready (had a broken engagement) and that I should carefully consider the many fine young men in our Ward.

Bleck. This only fueled my desire to serve and I specifically remember reading D&C 6 sitting outside of his office. It is still my favorite passage of scripture to this day. I continued to set weekly appointments with "my" Bishop (he was the BEST EVER). I started calling him at home and finally got my papers ;)

I left in February 1998 and really did love my mission. I was called to serve in Brussels, Belgium. Um, I didn't even know where this country was located. The only associations I had to Belgium at the time was our Belgian Shepard growing up (she was amazing), diamonds and chocolate! That was enough for me! It was an indescribable calling that tried me in every area to every limit but by far one of the most fulfilling! I absolutely loved it and knew I was where I was supposed to be.

I feel like I learned so much more than I ever gave. I loved struggling to master French (which I don't feel like I ever did), meeting people, teaching people and helping people to feel that things that I felt. I made friends that I will keep forever and this was just a small perk on the side. My mission added so much perspective and preparation for things to come...

I got home and went back to Penn State. I was called as the Relief Society President at our Branch; however, this was rather short in duration as I took off for Utah shortly thereafter following yet another prompting that the Director of Institute also felt when he was setting me apart! Good thing because I seriously knew nothing about what I was supposed to do and didn't really appreciate RS like I should have. What was Heavenly Father thinking?!

My next calling was teaching 15 year olds, which was extremely intimidating and short lived since we bought a home and moved. Then followed team teaching the Sunbeams with my spouse. We loved our little class and their sweet innocence! It brought so much insight and really felt like quiet preparation for parenthood. I still remember the children by name and one prayer in particular from a little guy named Tyler in which he prayed and offered gratitude that "we could all have good dreams and not be dead" after 911.

After this I taught a CTR 5 class and really enjoyed them as well. they were a funny handful but I enjoyed the challenge of keeping their attention and seeing them really grasp concepts. It was always interesting to me as you could always tell which children were learning at home and being supplemented at church rather than just learning at church.

After this I was called to serve as a counselor in the Stake Relief Society. I felt so out of place and inadequate all over again. The Stake President assured me that they knew what they were doing and that they needed me. I worked with some amazing women and gained a whole new appreciation for the Relief Society (turns out it really is way more than a country club for women who make Temples out of beads!!). This really was one of those callings that opened my eyes up even further and again left me feeling like I gained so much more than I gave. I still maintain friendships from this special time of service.

I asked to be released when things got difficult in my personal life and I pretty much made a huge mess for a while. My divorce hit and I was tried, tested and had put myself in the heart of the fire. I walked my own path filled with sadness, guilt and shame while I tried to figure out where I now fit into the church as a single Mother. I pulled through, life went on, I learned a tremendous amount and next served again as a Primary teacher for the CTR 6 class. This was fun because my kids were both in Primary and challenging because they both always wanted to come to my class!

I will attest that the greatest calling of all comes from the little people in my life! There are nights like tonight that make me wonder how on earth we are all going to survive (D has diarrhea again, Ellie was puking, he woke to bad dreams, she woke to "hot pee pee") this but I do so love my children. I was told a bazillion times by way too many doctors that I would never bear children and here I sit carrying number #3. Yes, Motherhood. Heavenly Father always has his own little plan for us despite what we think we know or what we think we need!

On the B Side: I learned the hard way that service is the best way to make a difference and feel a little bit closer to who we really are and who He really wants us to be. I love the perspective that comes and even more importantly I love knowing that we can bless the lives of others. It's a process and involves so many emotions that ultimately brings about personal growth. It didn't take me long to know that anytime I am feeling bad or down all I need to do is serve another as you truly do lose yourself by looking outside of yourself. I love this and really feel a deep gratitude and sincere love for the opportunity to serve.

Life Lesson #1 Just Do It

What is it about human nature that causes us to say things like, "Call me if you need anything" or "Let me know what I can do to help" or even something as simple as, "Gosh, I'm sorry. That's too bad". Believe me when I say I am guilty of this time and time again. I am sincerely trying to avoid these things and let me expand for further clarification.

Do any of these things really mean any thing? Are they really an expression of genuine emotion? Do they make a difference to the recipient of such phrases? Do they provide any element of comfort? Do they just seem like the right thing to say? Do they fill space and time or just make a situation less awkward? Then we follow up with things later like "So how are things going?" or "Have things been better?" Again, we say this things for the purpose of mere conversation? Is it out of curiosity or is it really concern? Do we REALLY want to know???

For the sake of having my glass half full I am more than willing to give man kind the benefit of the doubt and conclude that these are all well meaning words from the heart of well meaning people. Period. The reason this sticks out in my mind so much is because of my previous post related to my friend who has MS and the disappointment I feel from others surrounding her particularly at the office.

It suffices me to say that for the most part I am sure that it is a way for us to acknowledge the hardship of another. Frequently it is difficult to know what to say, to express ourselves or anticipate the needs of another. There are times when I think we really do mean it from the bottom of our heart. I also fully realize that often times it is better to say something than nothing at all but as well intentioned as this seemingly kind phrases may be they are completely void of action and hence are watered down orange juice in my perspective and verily seem to negate themselves.

No doubt that we all have also had these things said to us. I am willing to concede that again kind words are better than no words but have you ever really taken someone up on such an offer? Have you ever felt comfortable enough to really reach out and say, "Yes, I really do need help". My guess is that when it comes to a time of need these frequently spoken phrases by others are not forefront on our mind as a REAL sentiment. Perhaps that is also human nature and suddenly my glass may be half empty but I for one can tell you that I do not reflect upon these words during times of distress nor do they really provide any kind of relief. If your experience has been different please tell me.

So the next time you find yourself wanting to say one of the aforementioned phrases stop and think...just how sorry are you? Just how much do you mean it? Are you a warm meal sorry? Are you an afternoon sorry? Are you willing to sacrifice your time sorry? Do you care enough to make that extra phone call sorry? If you really want to make a difference than take action. The action does not have to be big or earth shattering but it is truly the action that makes the difference to another.

In my experience we often feel compelled to do something but don't really know what to do. We say these things because we don't know what else to say. It's easy to say that we are too far removed to do these things, that we don't feel comfortable, that we don't want to impose or that we have other plans. It's easy to think that we just don't have time or that we have our own problems to attend. Do we really have any idea how much it means to another to really have someone reach out for no reason other than to merely help? Do we really understand the impact that it has on another's heart?

I can tell you from personal experience that the altruistic acts of kindness that others have shown to me have been absolutely priceless. The Christlike service is something that have touched my heart, helped me more than I can express, made me a more humble person and helped me to understand the importance of helping others. Granted I am a veritable work in progress! The compassion that is shown, the sacrifice of another's time, thoughts and/or energy is the hope that shines brightly during times of difficulty.

Rather than consume myself with trying to understand what it all means, why it isn't the way I think it should be, etc I want to focus on really just being a better person because of those that have helped me to understand this Christlike virtue. Think upon the the times that you have had someone follow a random inspiration and proceeded with a small act of kindness. Rather, instead of thinking about it, JUST DO IT.

On the B Side: I am grateful for the opportunities I have to serve others. I won't say that it's easy, convenient or that it doesn't some times tear my heart out but I love making even a small difference in the life of another and I can tell you that it is during these times that I am not thinking or worrying about myself. I am also extremely grateful for those that have lovingly taken action to help me. The instances are without number and continue to teach me on so many levels. I can't tell you the countless times others have blessed my life without even knowing just how much it has made a difference and if you think about it I'm sure you could say the same. Christ was the ultimate example and lived His life as He would have us live ours. The difficulty is honestly doing our best and knowing that he will make up the difference in the midst of our trying-to-do-what's-right shortcomings.

You're the Meaning in my Life, You're the Inspirtation!

So my darling friend Heidi had this quote posted and I couldn't resist borrowing it as Marjorie Pay Hinckley is one of my most favorite people! I've seen the quote before but it hit me all over again when I read it the other day on her blog.

It's so easy (and I am completely guilty of this)to get caught up in life. I've learned to live without the vacuum marks in the carpet but I still struggle when our house looks like a bomb and I still feel guilty throwing my hair in a pony everyday as a time saving measure. Despite the fall out from this exciting life the bottom line is to really love and serve others.

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenck's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."

There is much satisfaction that comes from loving and selfless service. It does often come at a price but it's crucial that we all remember that those price tags are generally small and so unimportant.

On the B Side: I am grateful to be here and I want to really LIVE!

God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well.

Dayton is my favorite hero! He's not your classic hero. He's got a blind date with destiny and it looks like she's ordered the lobster!

He shovels like no other 5 year old can! We got hit with another storm from the west coast today. This is the second time he has spent a considerable amount of time and energy in the cold shoveling the snow off of the drive way! He is the first to put his boots on, grab his hat/scarf/gloves/coat and pick up a shovel. He works hard, bless his heart and the sweetest part is that he encourages me the entire time.

"Good job, Mom" and "You're doing great" are common kind hearted phrases that can be heard while he cheerfully removes the snow from the drive way. He doesn't complain, he makes sure we take turns sharing the shovels and he refuses to go inside until I do! He is a darling little boy!

On the B Side: I am grateful for the strong example of loving service that he is to me! xxox